there is nothing more i want then to be by your sides again other than death. i’ve never felt so upset confused misunderstood betrayed and alone in my life. i’m afraid you’ll never see my apology for the truth that it is, that you’ll never quite understand where i’m coming from, won’t see where i’m coming from, and you’ll forever know me disrespectfully represented as a shade of an unfortunate situation i wanted nothing more than to avoid. aren’t i entitled to feel just as crazy hurt as you? don’t you think there are terrors that run through my mind and body at all times of the day since that day? don’t you think i despise the way this turned out? how could you ever possibly think i purposely did this, would want to do this, to treat you as such to spite you? why do i feel as though no matter what i say, in meekness, in anger, in truth and in lies if only to get back to you, that it will never happen. the one thing in my life i was willing to live for, has left. each hour is a test, and its only getting harder and harder. why am i invisible, why have my true feelings always been invisible to those i care about. i suppose what i say doesn’t even matter anymore to anyone